Cowabunga Dudes!

So I mentioned in my last post that I had run my first official race ever a couple weeks ago. A fundraiser for the Ithaca Children's Garden, it was called the Tough Turtle. When I signed up I was under the impression it was strictly a 5k race. This was in mid-January, only days after I had made the decision to get into running (and only thinking about running the Disney 5k at the time) and since spots in the race were going fast I signed up before reading the fine print.

Ever heard of a tough mudder before? I hadn't. And while the Tough Turtle was more of a family friendly fun-for-all-ages version, I was not prepared to learn that this wasn't just a 5k, it was a 5k obstacle course. So not only was I getting used to the idea of running three miles, I also had to wrap my mind around doing things like climbing over walls, wading through mud, and jumping over stuff. I couldn't back out because I'd already spent the money so there was nothing left for me to do but commit!

From January to April I worked on building up my stamina while running and building muscle through some strength training on and off with my trainer. Week by week as the event got closer the Tough Turtle people would announce what the obstacles would be and I grew more and more nervous. I thought "what have I gotten myself into? I can barely do a pull up!" While I was starting to feel more confident in my running ability after  couple months, the thought of pulling myself up over a 10 foot wall sent me into convulsions. And what's more, I had ZERO race experience and had no idea what to expect. As months turned to weeks and then to days, I was a wreck. I kept having mental flashbacks to elementary school gym class and how much I was a sixth grade rope climbing failure.

Luckily, I was not alone. I belong to a young professionals networking group here in town and a couple of the ladies I've met through that were also running so we were on a team together. It made a big difference to have a support system in the months of training leading up to this race. We would check in with each other from time to time and send encouragement.

The morning of the race came and I was so nervous. I woke up early, some from anticipation but mostly because Cat Cora demands to be fed at 6:30 a.m. sharp regardless of day of the week! I made some coffee, ate a little oatmeal, pinned my race bib to my tee shirt and got ready to go over to the park. Our heat was at 9:20 a.m. and it was a beautiful sunny and clear day but a bit on the chilly side. The temperature will come into play a little later on. I met up with some of the members of our team and waited to be called to the start line.

And we're off! There's me, Jen, and Jen's brother Jimmy. As you can see, we were dressed for the weather. I am so glad I had my long pants and a long sleeve shirt on. Those sleeves came in handy later on, too!

Even though I was still nervous and questioning if I could even finish this race, I was really excited to finally be doing it.

My only goal this race was to finish and complete as many obstacles as possible. I wasn't running for time or to win. The obstacles as I mentioned before were not as intense as the official tough mudder ones look like. There was no barbed wire involved, thankfully! There are some pictures on the event's Facebook page that show what most of the obstacles were like. I am proud to say I completed every obstacle but one, the haystack, due to the fact I would have an allergy attack of epic proportions. We had to do all sorts of things from running up a steep hill to wading through waist deep water and ultimately military crawling through compost. Remember the long sleeves? They saved me from getting completely covered in compost!

I finished a few minutes behind Jen & Jimmy, we estimated about 43 minutes total so that's roughly 10 minute miles and 10 to 13 minutes to complete the obstacles. I have to tell you, the feeling I got turning the corner onto the last bit of straightaway and crossing the finish line with people cheering me on and the banjo player doing providing finishing music (this is Ithaca, after all) was an incredible feeling.

Here you can see how high the water was we had to wade through!

I was so proud of myself for accomplishing my goals and overcoming my fears of participating in this race. I've come a really long way since January not just physically but spiritually and emotionally. Realizing that this is something I can do and not just think about doing. Now that I've proven this to myself there are no more excuses for not exploring my capabilities further. I successfully completed the Color Splash Run 5k last weekend and my next race won't be for a little while but I will have the memories from these past two weekends to keep me going toward 13.1 in just eight short months.

Mud, Color, 5ks and More!

So I know it's been a super long time since I've posted anything. This is on par for me since I usually start strong when journaling/blogging and then three months go by with nothing. I have journals from 4th grade on that are not even 1/4 full! But, I needed to find a place to post some videos I made of the most recent race I completed, and since Facebook is less than helpful today I figured here would be an ok place too. My friend Vicky had planned on running this with me but she has an injury so I decided to document the experience a little for her. This was a Color Splash 5k fund raiser for the local 4-H. 

I figured parking would be a hassle so I walked from my apartment to the park where the start/finish is. It took about 20 minutes and I made it just in time for my heat at 10:27. My parents came in from Norwich to see me, too!

I joined in the group when my heat was called, I was somewhere in the middle of the pack. Only the first heat of this race was competitive so I wasn't worried about time or corral placement at all. This was just for fun and for getting some race experience. The course wound from Stewart Park to the Ithaca Farmers Market and back with three color stations along the way. I took this video at the halfway point.

Unfortunately the color was not sticking at all. I used some water from the water station to get my shirt a little wet but there is still almost no color on there at all by the time I finished. It was a gorgeous day but the warmest temps I've run in yet. I will need to prepare when I start doing 4 and 6 mile runs this summer when it's much warmer and there's humidity on top of that. I passed by many students from IC who were either walking or running and we had fun saying hi to each other and I even got to jog with one of our student workers from the office for a little bit. There wasn't the same kind of energy at this race as there was at the Tough Turtle last weekend, but no matter. It was still super super fun. I decided to take video of the last little bit of the course and crossing the finish line. As you can tell, I couldn't see my phone screen because it was way too bright so I had no idea what was actually being captured.

So I missed you Vick! We will definitely do another one ASAP. 

Last weekend I had my very first formal race ever. It was a touch mudder, so not a traditional race that I would use for a competitive time, but I had never entered anything before. I will post an update with more details about that later, perhaps in another three months!

Five Reasons Why I Run

Melissa Ethridge came out with a song a few years ago about running for charity. I think it had something to do with running for breast cancer research, as she publicly battled the disease and is a breast cancer survivor herself. The tune of that song sometimes goes through my mind as I'm preparing for my runs or as I'm running. It's catchy and noble.

I'm all for the breast cancer research cause (my mom is a three year survivor). I'm down with Relay for Life and Susan G. Koman and all that. But we all can't be Melissa Ethridge. She runs for hope and life and light. I run for some pretty ignoble reasons.The first being about three months ago I was "let go" from my previous relationship of four years. Needless to say it was a shock, a nasty one at that, and I was not in agreement. But there was nothing I could do about it - he was done and drove two hours to my apartment to inform me that we were breaking up. If I hadn't been too stunned to move or form coherent sentences at the time, I would have punched him. It took a month or two for the numbness to wear off and my anger has since bubbled right to the surface. It takes a lot of effort not to punch the first guy I come across in Wegman's or the movie theatre or the waiting room at Midas. Running has become the way to channel all that emotional garbage that comes with, to put it very literally, dumped. So reason #1: I run so I don't punch someone.

On a related note, I will have to see this person who handed me my walking papers this May at the wedding of a mutual friend. And I don't just want to look good for the sake that I'll be in her pictures for the rest of time. I want to look "shoulda put a ring on it good" so he'll know exactly what he's lost. I'm positive he knows already, but it's more fun to rub it in. If my invite signifies I can bring a date, you bet I'll get someone from the local running club to come with me, just so we can talk about running around him and our other friends. Reason #2: I run for spite. And to look good/be healthy. But mostly spite.

As my social life has taken a turn, a lot of my free time since becoming single has been spent in my apartment, on the couch, with books, a lot of TV, my cat, and chocolate. I love reading, TV, my cat and chocolate (not even necessarily in that order!) but it gets old after a while. I also sit at a desk 80% of the time at work. I'm a fairly extroverted person, and I need to get up and move. Otherwise I just keep eating chocolate and if I do any more of that reason #2 will not work as well. I also need to make friends in Ithaca, rather than sit around idly pining for my friend group in Rochester. When it's nice enough to consistently run outside I'll set up a membership with the Finger Lakes Running Club and hopefully meet people through group runs and local races. I'm already signed up for two 5k's! Reason #3: I run because I'm bored.

As a child of the 80's, I can just say no to illegal drugs and tobacco with the best of them. Nancy Reagan would be really proud of me. I can also say no to things like blind dates, country music, sushi, and working weekends. What I can NEVER say no to, is Disney World. WDW is my drug of choice (sorry Nancy, I guess I did find something to develop a dependency on) and when some of my favorite INTERCOT friends began talking about meeting up at the 2014 Marathon Weekend event, I couldn't resist. We just have way too much fun together whenever we're all in the same place, especially at WDW. So when the runDisney events became more and more popular among the members of this awesome website, I made the decision to join them. The interest in actually running any of the races during the marathon came much later. Reason #4: I run because I'm a band wagoner.

For the second music reference of this entry, I quote to you some Les Miserables:
And show your Honor, 
you see it's true,  
That man bears no more guilt than you!  
Who am I? 
24601!

Jean Valjean spends the entire musical trying to answer the question of who he is. Are his actions lining up with his moral code? He is a criminal, a thief, has gone AWOL, assumed a false identity and he continues to lie and hide while seeking redemption. At the end of his life he's tried to make amends and relieve his guilt. Then Anne Hathaway comes to take his spirit home and on the way they run into Colm Wilkinson.

Guess what, Jean Valjean isn't the only one trying to answer this question. I'm not seeking the answer of who am I going to be for the rest of my life?, but rather who am I in this moment? I've had to redefine myself these past few months and reevaluate what I want, what I am about, and how I want to live my life. I've had to let go of a lot of dreams and goals that will now never come to pass. It's not easy grieving for a life I'll never live while trying to discover my new normal.While I was in my previous relationship I still had my sense of self, don't get me wrong, but it became more of a sense of "us" instead of just me. Therein lied the rub- there was never any sense of "us" from his perspective, just him with me attached like a motorcycle side car with an Eject button. So now what? I'm turning 30 this year, I'm still in an entry level job, have mountains of debt to pay, no relationship, no kids, living in a place I thought was temporary and is rapidly becoming more permanent than I think I want it to be. Is this who I want to be? I run because I can meditate on this as the treadmill belt goes round and round. I can think while my angry music blasts through the ear buds and while my trainer leans up against the wall not even trying not to look bored. I can ruminate over where my sense of self worth went and where I need to go in order to get it back. So finally and most importantly, Reason #5, despite all the aforementioned silly reasons: I run for me.

Bra Rah Rah

All the busty ladies! All you full figured gals! Commiserate and cry into your D cups with me tonight.

I have just returned from the sports store and am shocked that I actually was able to find not one, but TWO sports bras that not only fit, but support and decrease as much jiggle as possible. What's more, I don't have to double layer them! Yes, this isn't a hologram! It's actually me wearing only ONE sports bra and feeling good about it. I can breathe and run, at the same time. Alert the media!

For years, probably close to 20 of them, I've had to wear a bra of some sort. Not out of the ordinary for girls, but since then I've had to go to the shall we say "extreme" end of the spectrum when it comes to work out or dance attaire. As a ballet dancer by trade for more than 20 years of my life, I've squeezed my girls into countless twinkly little bodices held up by no more than twine, some dental floss, a lot of duct tape and prayers that I wouldn't turn any production into something out of Showgirls after two grand jetes. Remember that scene in Shakespeare in Love where Viola, played by Gwyneth Paltrow, reveals to Will that the actor he thought was a male is actually a female? And how she undresses in front of him and he holds one end of the gauze she used to bind her boobs down (like she has any to begin with, I mean look at this lady) while she twirls and giggles? That never happened in the choir-room-turned-changing-area of Norwich High School during Nutcracker intermission. It was more like, "hey, it's hard to breathe with all this athletic tape and three Ace bandages constricting my rib cage." "I know. Let's go get McDonald's after the show!"

And we would. And it was delicious. Because nothing makes a slightly chubby and top heavy 14 year old feel better about herself than fried processed chicken product and fries. And a shake. And an ice cream sundae. With nuts.

Needless to say, no matter what my weight - from 175 pounds at my heaviest to 135 at my lightest - I've had big boobs. The letter "A" has appeared zero times on any tags on any items in my underwear drawer since I was nine. Let's face it, they're here to stay. So what to do about them? I wish there was a man in my life who would appreciate them, but I have a moderate dislike for them and the sweater department at Macy's has banned them due to over stretching the merchandise. 

For a culture that mostly glorifies large breasted women, we certainly seem to get punished when it comes to shopping for "unmentionables."  Ever pay attention to what certain sizes and styles of bras are called? Anything from an A to a 36C is usually something flirty, sexy, and socially desirable like "Angel" or "maximizer" or "miracle." Anything upwards of that is MINIMIZE MINIMIZE MINIMIZE. "Full coverage" is my personal favorite. It's code for hide those things before you hurt someone! Translation: if you are smaller breasted flaunt it, but anything above a C do everything you can to cover them up, fade into the background and just count your bra size amongst your many other flaws. Walk into a Victoria's Secret sometime and look at the sizes out on display. The lacy, colorful, patterned ones that always have a matching robe and panties. See anything above a C on the racks? Nope, you have to bend down (but don't worry, your massive & heavy mammaries help with the momentum), open a drawer and there you have your choice of two colors, which usually happen to be white, tan, or grey. Where's the hot pink bedazzled zebra stripe pattern on the mannequin? Sorry, doesn't come in your size because large boobed women have NO personality and it should reflect in your bra color. But don't fear! The helpful sign in the dressing room (oh, I haven't even BEGUN to think about the dressing room yet. I'll save that for another blog.) says "want more styles, sizes and colors? Shop online 24/7 at VictoriasSecret.com" Awesome! Thanks for letting me know that because of my chest size I should stay at home by myself and shop where no one can see me. Because retailers can't be bothered to provide the same experience to someone who wears a DD as someone who wears a B. I'll just leave and get in line at Auntie Ann's now.

After all this ranting, I'll get back to the actual inspiration for this, my second official blog entry. I actually found sports bras that fit. I'll spare you the rant I gave my roommate when I got home about how a halfway decent sports bra for big boobs cost $25, and that was the cheap end of the spectrum. The point is, they actually exist and I honestly would have paid three times that amount if it means I can work out and start to move toward my fitness goals without having to put on layer upon layer and hope that it's enough to get me though 30 minutes of jogging on the treadmill. But it shouldn't be this much of a victory.

Maybe after a couple months of exercise and good nutrition I'll go down a size or two, but I really hope they don't change all that much. For all the ranting and raving and frustration, I actually really do love my boobs. And I think sometimes they even love me back.

Running Down A Dream

I am not a runner. But this is a blog about running. Confused yet?

Ok, so I can run, which I suppose does make me a "runner" but not a runner if you know what I mean. I don't run for fun. At least, I never did until three weeks ago (and it's still not that fun). It went a little something like this:

I was following a friend's posts on Twitter while she was down in Disney World during Marathon weekend. Her husband was running the Goofy Challenge- a half marathon on Saturday followed by a full marathon on Sunday. Goofy indeed. As she was documenting the experience, I got to thinking about what it would be like to participate in a runDisney event. Being the proper Disneyphile I am, I knew about runDisney, but never thought it would be something I would actually do. Although it was nice to daydream about it. What really got me was the picture in my head of running down Main St. USA with Cinderella Castle all decked out in lights while spectators cheered you on. There was just something so magical about that thought and I couldn't let it go.

A day or two later, the thought was still there like a tiny grain of sand stuck in my mind. And then it started to grow and I found myself thinking more and more "what if I really could run? And what's more, what if I really could run, and do it at Disney?" Could it be possible to combine my least favorite thing with my most favorite thing?

Apparently I thought the answer was yes, because I posted this on Facebook:
Walt Disney World Marathon weekend 2014. The training (and saving!) starts now.

Initially I was only in for the 5K. What's 3 miles? I could work my way up to that. But then the wheels started turning and my sister posted that she wanted to not only join me but run the half marathon. Come again? Did she realize that was 13.1 miles? Of running? Long story short, I suddenly added ten miles to my distance.

To prove to myself that I was committed to this, I e-mailed my trainer January 17th:

Hi Jimmy!

Hope you’ve enjoyed break! Just wanted to check in about starting training again this semester. I’m excited to get started again and have a big goal I can’t wait to tell you about. This semester I am available on Mondays and Thursdays at 5:30 p.m. Those are the only days I have no conflicts. Every other Tuesday and every other Wednesday I have meetings, so depending on the week I may be able to meet with you those nights.

 

Want to know what my goal is????  I’ve decided to train for a half marathon! It will be in January of 2014 so I have a whole year to get ready. I’ve signed up for a 5K in June and will likely do other runs in the summertime and fall as they come available. I know I’ve always said I don’t want to run but that’s mostly because I have knee pain. But, if I can train the right way and build up strength then hopefully my knees won’t bother me anymore. The best part about this goal is that my sister is doing it with me AND the half marathon is in Disney World!!!!

 

Can you confirm with me whether Mondays and Thursdays at 5:30 will work with your schedule? If so, can we get started next Monday?

 

Thanks!

Nikki

I can't imagine what he was thinking when he read this. I'd been a casual gym goer at best, preferring to get my cardio in the form of Zumba or jogging gazelle-like on the Eliptical once a week. I found more excuses to "reschedule" our training sessions or just cancel them altogether than I had reason to actually show up at the gym. I'm pretty sure the first thing I said to him at our first training session was "I don't run." But if he was surprised or had any doubts, he didn't show it. His response was "yes, let's do it, I'm excited for you that you have this goal." So we worked out our schedule and I'm on week 2 of our training program.


I've been running for two weeks now and I still don't feel like a runner. I think I could run every day for the rest of my life and never feel like a runner. It's just not how I define myself. I am a non-runner runner. But what I am doing, is running down this dream.

Next up- a little more background about me and why I still mostly despise running